Monday, January 24, 2011

So close..yet so far, far away!

First day back to school. Rough. Yes, it can be described in one short, meaningful word.

Just as my stress level was returning to normal from a few issues...today was a big ol' knock backwards.  I thought instead of focusing on some of the mountain of homework I have to do, I would take a few minutes and try to de-stress some.  I'm a quick typer:)

So, to the beginning. Better to make this part quick and relatively painless. I have put myself through an emotional rollercoaster over the last month and a half.  Early December, I found some sort of a lump in my side--not on my skin, IN my side.  Scary. So, I listen to the doctor and monitor it for about 5 weeks. No change, so I go in--yes, it's definitely there she says. Most likely a benign fatty tumor. Fantastic! So, we do an ultrasound, and while the results come back ok-'we don't see anything abnormal-nothing cancerous'...the answers I get aren't quite what I need to hear.  Long story short, I'm going back in 6 weeks just to make sure we are seeing what we need to see and not missing anything.  My goal for the next 5 1/2 weeks: Not to think about it.  It puts me into a downward spiral of worrisome that I literally cannot deal w/. So, as my fantastic Mother says..compartamentalize the stress of that into a 'nothing you can do, wait to worry' box.

Onto a more fascinating subject...this MBA may yet be the death of me.  Tonight was stressful and while I really do enjoy the material we discuss...I have officially no freetime for the next few weeks.  Overload is not the word to describe how I feel, but we'll make it due for all intensive purposes.  Wish me luck...and sanity:)

Poor MJ is sick again.  Going to keep praying that this will be the last of it for this sickly season..but no holding my breath.  Good--but sad news--I have come to the realization over the past week that MJ is going to be FIVE in three months and in kindergarten in the fall. Yes, this scares me. A) Because I have no idea where the last five years has gone, and B) Because she will be at school all day, five days of the week and is slowly starting not to need me anymore!! Haha!!

Looking forward to my Pampered Chef/Scentsy party this weekend..and having my sister and my niece/nephew here for some fun and dinner to celebrate Stacy's birthday! And I get to have my baby home two weekends in a row.  While I miss having time w/ my friends on the weekends...I do love my mama and MJ time!!

I feel a little better now..we'll see how tomorrow goes:)

2 comments:

  1. Cassie!! I wish I would've known about the 'tumor', but understand if it something you wanted to keep personal. I will for sure be saying some prayers for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will too keep you in our prayers. I could not imagine the difficult times you are going through while worrying about that.

    Keep up all your hard work with school! We are all so proud of you and everything that you are accomplishing!

    And don't worry about MJ going to school, soon lil man will be joining her and we can wallow together!

    ReplyDelete